Past Truth. Those #1 Chat Room throbs and pants. Painting pictures of myself with words and lines from another dimension. What goes around  comes around.

Final notes on death.

October 14, 2006. Well here I sit just about all burned up. The past week has been totally horrendous. In fact the past months have been that way. My life is a mess. I have no real friends, and I'll never have a lover again. Donna hates me, Simmer hates me, Jeanie probably hates, at least she will when she finds out how old I am. 

Simmer finally dumped me, as politely as she could of course. I know what I do, wallowing in my own shit. I know how it affects people when I lay it on them. I'm just lost. Donna doesn't want me, except to clean up after her and carrying her weight around. I'm pretty much her maid and pack horse. Last night I tried to get her to kiss me on the cheek and she refused so that tells me where its really at with her. It isn't ! We were finished decades ago. before we ever really got started. But now the game is over and It's too late to start again. Too old, too little, too late. I'm lost. - JoeC.

October 14, 2006. It's all over dick, she's never going to touch you again. And i mean both of them, maybe all of them. For sure I mean Simmer, and D, and probably Jeanie.

October 15, 2006. Went in to chat about three a.m. as ^^mindGames>>. Simmer pretty much immediately jumped on me after one or two of my comments and was giving me hell. Of course she had no idea who I was. French Kiss was in the room, she has been around for the past few days. We have had our moments over the past couple of days. French Kiss has been on my case about several things and I've given her a bit of a riding about things she has said. So tonight she jumps into my PC and I have a nice clean chat with her. She is young, 26, Aussie, named Suzie Q. I told her my name was Rick. She and I chatted for about 45 minutes , perhaps a little more. We talked about her pets, 5 cats (Frodo, Pippin, etc.), her dog a Maltese Terrier that is really young (like six months old or something), two ducks Merry the hen, and the drake is called ?. 

   Went back in to chat after a pee break as Freelove. I was calling on several of my favorites like Golly (32 f Britain), and I tried Katie (Niagara Falls, who I have been talking to for a couple of weeks now in the main room). She was not terribly interested in Freelove however Golly and Simmer both responded to some degree. 

 Since Simmer has been cybering with cyberstud (she calls him STUDLY) she has been in and out of the room for the past two or three weeks, perhaps a little longer. Anyhow there she is breaking all the rules that she laid down for JoeC. Like not using the L word. She and Studly are both using it in the main room. Others that try chatting with Simmer get the same thing JoeC got. Which was essentially , a rebellion against too much affection, too quickly, and the strong language including the word love.  Ya I knew those things already but man I am always pushing the limits aren't I! Whew! So essentially I shot myself in the head over this one, but from the beginning I knew that the age thing would separate us anyhow. So, fool me, I go for it with her and I quickly find out she is the same as most girls and doesn't want to hear that stuff until she has said it first. fuck. So I blew it and I knew I was blowing it right from the get go! WTF! lol. I've seen Simmer blow off more than one admirer and therein lies the extreme power women have over men, and they fucking know it!  Only the strong survive! And I'm not strong enough am I?

 
   I've just gone through a really rough couple of weeks with my emotions. Everything stems from my marriage relationship. With the turmoil in the chat room with Simmer and Jeanie I'm not sure where I stand. Fuck. I do see Simmer thinking things through sometimes too. What blows my mind is there she is flirting with Studly and she even comes into the room and publicly says things like "I hope he will show up" and of course I know who she is talking about and suddenly there he is and she is all over him. Fuck fuck fuck! Why couldn't I ever find a woman that loved me like that?! What rotten fucking luck! She has even been saying things in the main room when he isn't there like " He even wants me to fly over to New York!" I would say she has fallen for him. So much for her story to me (JoeC) that she didn't want a man and she was happy being alone. Women are such liars!

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Hi. I'm Bob. Bob Trump. I'm looking for investors. I'm constructing the tallest building the world has ever seen."

"How tall will the building be?"

"The tallest. Taller than tall. Endlessly tall really."

"Endlessly tall?"

"Yes, endless, very tall."

"Isn't there a limit to the height a building can be?"

"Oh heavens no. It can be endless."

"How so? Wouldn't it topple over at some point, or collapse with the weight of the thing?"

"No no, not at all. See, the taller one builds the less the thing weighs."

"What?"

"Things weigh less the further they are from the earth's surface."

"What?"

"Yes, it's scientific. Things weigh less the further they are from the earth. So, the taller the building the less it would weigh."

"That's ludicrous."

"What?"

"Ludicrous, l-u-d-i-c-r-o-u-s, ludicrous. That's a ludicrous thing to say."

"What? Why?"

"Gravity may be a factor. And structural integrity not to mention material strength."

"Gravity? Well yes, of course, gravity. But it's fact that the further away from the earth things are the less they weigh - because of gravity. Lack of gravity. It's less."

"What?"

"Gravity. It's less the further away from the earth one goes."

"Well that's true to a point."

"Exactly. My point is that I'm going to build a humungously tall structure. Call it 'City Tower', a whole city will live there, in one tall tower."

"What?"

"A city, in a tower. A very tall tower mind you. It would have to be, wouldn't it. To house and hold an entire city. - - - Don't be preposterous. Silly man. 'What?' he asks. I'll tell you what, I need investors for my project. A one of a kind endeavour. It'll be great. It will generate a lot of revenue in the future."

"Revenue?"

"Yes, revenue. Lots of good money. From rentals, leases and taxes, city taxes. It will be a city. A very big one. In a tall tower. City Tower, first of its kind I imagine. And I'll be the Lord Mayor, the keeper of the key."

"What?"

"First of its kind. It would be wouldn't it. You haven't seen one before now have you."

"But the thing won't stand."

"What?"

"It will fall, collapse, tumble into a pile of twisted steel, broken glass and mangled bodies."

"What?"

"The damn thing won't stay up. It will get too heavy. Gravity would pull it down."

"No, no way could gravity pull down a city tower. This tower will be so magnificently tall it will weigh nothing at the top. I mean, yeah, of course the bottom would weigh a bit wouldn't it, that only makes sense doesn't it!"

"What?"

"It only makes sense that the bottom, which is next to the earth, right on the soil, you know, the heavy rocky surface - of the planet, that part will weigh a lot won't it. But then, but then my friend, way up there, in the sky, so high up you couldn't see the top from down here, that part of the building will weigh nothing, zero, nada, weightless, since it will be out in space. So you know, things balance out don't they. All that weightlessness at the top, say a couple thousand miles of it, will completely balance out that heavy, burdensome bottom of the thing, won't it. And, AND, with that balancing out, the whole entire building will weigh nothing."

"What? You're an idiot."

"Mind you, there is gravity."

"What?"

"Gravity, there is gravity out there, isn't there!"

"What?"

"It's out there, gravity, it's out there, in space, in the wild blue yonder, gravity, pulling things down, pulling us down, back down to earth. Where we the people once all lived. But now, but now my friend, City Tower! I'm looking for investors. Not what, you should ask how much."

"Okay, how much then?"

"Hmmm, let me think. A lot I suppose. All you can give. I'm open to proposals."

"Proposals! I'll give you a proposal. Go back to school and learn a thing or two about physics and the real world."

"I don't need to."

"What?"

"I don't need to go back, or anywhere really, except up. My head is in the clouds. My feet or on the ground, gravity keeps them there, but my head, it's in the clouds. That's where I live. With my head in the clouds. Getting the best view."

"What?"

"I just want to give people the chance to get up there, way up there, to get the best view. Of things. Of the world. And they can do that from the City Tower. It will have a great view. It'll be way up there, above the clouds. Out in space actually. Where things don't weigh a thing."

"What?"

"Things don't weigh a thing in space, there is no gravity, way out there, in space."

"I'm confused now."

"What?"

"I'm confused."

"Confused."

"Yes, I'm confused by some of your statements."

"What?"

"I'm confused by some of the things you're telling me."

"What things?"

"Things like how a hugely big massively tall tower weighs less and less as it gets taller."

"Mhm."

"I find that confusing."

"Why?"

"Because what my physics teacher taught me is that the weight of structures, buildings, towers, increases as more material is added to the structure."

"What?"

"The more you pile up the more the whole pile weighs."

"I'm not talking about piles."

"What?"

"I'm not referring to piles, of stuff, of anything. I talking about building a tall tall tower - - - that will weigh less as it gets taller and taller."

"What?"

"Taller and taller. A tall, almost weightless tower. My Tower City. Or maybe I'll call it 'The New Continental', the world in a tower. A tall tower. A very tall tower."

"I don't think you're thinking straight."

"Of course I'm thinking straight. I'm thinking straight UP. So darn high up we'll be out in space. Where we'll all be weightless."

"What?"

"We'll be weightless. People have been saying things about my weight. The City Tower will be weightless. Out in space. It won't weigh a thing, not an ounce, not a gram, nothing, zip, nada, zilch. Weightless. I'll weigh less. Out in space."

"I guess so."

"What?"

"Out in space. You - - - and you're City Tower. Far out in weightless space. Nada, zilch, not a thing. Not even an idea really."

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"You know what."

"What?"
  
   
                                                             * * * * *

Another year has nearly passed. Measuring time and suddenly it's 2020! Have a Happy and Prosperous New Year Everyone!

Here I am wondering what to do with this blog. Whether to maintain it 'as a nothing more than a few posts' or turn it into something else, something more active. Yes I have my poetry blog (JoeC's blog spot here on Google blogs) but sometimes I think there are other things I'd like to rave about here on the world net. More than once thinking I'd like to post about herbs and herbal medicine, something I've had an interest in for decades. Occasionally I'd just like to do a bit of creative writing, tack it up here in blog land, perhaps some other person actually reading the words, look at the photos (I only use my own pics, yes photography is a big part of my little world), hopefully enjoying their experience. On my Yahoo 360 blog (which is obviously no longer viable, since July 2010 when yahoo discontinued that beloved stream) I would post regularly from my menagerie of original photos, adding varied bits and pieces from my eclectic  realm of short story, poem and lunatic rants on love and relationship, depending of course on my mood at the time. So I think I should just go for it again, using this electronic page to put out those silly (some not so silly I guess) quirky quips that tend to tumble and flow from my peasant mind. 
  August now, dog days are done, summer is waning. Sweetening fruit is ripening on limber stems, groovy potatoes resting in garden soil, waiting to be dug, likely pondering being brushed, scraped, pealed and cooked, relishing being eaten, trusting they will be enjoyed. Recent full moon nights have been summer warm, starry clear and cosmic bright. Red fish, kokanee salmon, schooling, surfacing, swimming, wave after wave of the tasty fishes, their streamlined bodies cyclically turning blood red, life giving entities preparing to run the Lardeau River, finally spawn, then ceremoniously die. Winter and summer squash, cantaloupe melons too, are plumping up, ripening on sturdy vines, amended with all the wonderful sunshine energy and warmth we've enjoyed here in this valley over the summer. Whitetail deer quietly wander through the old orchard, every morning, each evening (no doubt through-out the night) foraging, munching fallen apples, nibbling green things, sleek handsome deer rearing up on strong back legs, scarfing green pears from lower branches of the giving tree. Raven families fly together these days, pecking out meager livings from this mountain landscape, scavenging whatever food they might sniff out, discover, then feast upon. Kootenay Lake waters have finally receded from that high water mark the big lake maintained for so many weeks this past June and July. Days are still wonderfully warm. Even today, with a bit of welcome rain (the tall forest is thirsty),  my porch thermometer rose above 20 degrees Celcius. Nights, still pleasant, milky way bright, starry amazing, still absent of autumn cool, summer still helping my garden to grow. Out in the garden I've managed to live trap (relocating the invaders, yes that's one in the photograph above) ten furry little bank voles, voracious critters, so far ruining much of my summer vegetable crop, dang! If all goes well there won't be a killing frost until after Halloween, come November and winter days. If all goes well, nights will remain moderate, fairly warm, so that things can ripen up, not too much moisture and excessive wet that bring on fungal infections and rot, If all goes well it won't pour rain or monsoon over the next three months. Finally, if all goes well, no snow will fly until December's dark. 
  Gee I've almost wrapped up the rest of the year! However, in reality, there are weeks of summer left, autumn is merely a dream yet to come. With all the photos I've taken this summer I should have something of interest to put up here for an audience to see, hopefully I'll have some worthwhile words to post as well. 
  Until next time, let's think positive thoughts, have fun in daily life, be creative in all we do, keep the faith (whatever that faith may be, it's a blessing to believe in something), keep our vision clear and our eyes on the sky (one never knows what one may be lucky enough to witness), so get out there, breath in the fresh air and look at those magnificent stars. Remember every day is a new day, each and every one of us are located on this blue planet at this time for a reason. Cheers!

Oh those magnificent Canadian Rockies!

Oh rainy, wet June! Down by the marsh.

June. Down by the marsh Painted Turtle is laying her precious eggs.